The Orange Thing

Written on October 22, 10:14pm,

I just came from trying to implement yung running weighted average sa chay grade monitor. I feel like I needed an engineering win lang HAHAHHA net zero kasi ako today. I did great with the Vega presentation pero because of it I let vistapharma down and caused prod to be out for like an hour.

There’s like this common phenomenon wherein if something bad happens malaking problema pero if something good happens naging parang baseline nalang sya so we don’t celebrate it as much. This has been a recurring thing sa career ko me thinks. I’ve been feeling this way since school pa HAHAHAH mas malaki yung impact of bagsak diba kesa sa high grades. Now the same shit’s happening sa career ko.

To which I’d like to say na gagi, I might actually be a pessimist anoh HAHAHHA parang I’ve noticed saakin lately na I like seeing negative more than I do positive in a lot of aspects in life, and like what’s nice about our relationship is na it breaks my normal habit.

Kanina while I was driving on the way to Fortem I had the thought of “if it’s too good to be true, then it’s likely you’re not seeing something.”

I was slightly annoyed kasi with my new phone kanina HAHAHHA I was thinking about how grabe pag talaga naka ipon ako ulit I don’t think I’m gonna let this phone last me 5 years. Kasi it was so laggy talaga grabe idk why it was acting out. It can’t handle running maps, android auto spotify, and yung mcdo app ng sabay sabay HAHAHHA

Eh syempre when it was introduced to me it was this perfect thing na like mahaba battery and durable pa. Akala ko the flaw was yung camera lang.

Anyways, I was thinking nga about that tapos I got to thinking about our relationship and how I perceive it as perfect talaga. In the podcast I was listening to rin they were talking about yung mga reklamo nila sa relationship tapos ngayon napapa isip ako about how “ano nga ba yung mga reklamo ko sa relationship natin” HAHAHHA AND WALA AKONG MAISIP like kailangan kong alugin yung isip ko and have to force it pa talaga if meron man akong sasabihin

alam mo yun? yung you have to force it pa just so you have something to say?

Example: if I were asked to name all the brown things sa room I’d label a slightly dark orange thing as brown even though orange naman talaga sya.

And now I bring you back dun sa tiktok screenshot HAHAHAHHA

tbh this isn’t the first time na I’ve seen content of this variation sa tiktok anoh and tbh di ako fan of it HAHAHAHH SYEMPRE kasi it’s anti men HAHAHAHAH pero like I don’t really think that way. But then again kasi talaga men don’t think that way eh, commonly anoh no hidden rules and expectations.

SO naturally that got me thinking if ikaw ba may ganyan (things na I’m not meeting sa standards mo) HAHAHAH and I am proud and confident to say na wala kang ganyan. And I’m not even gonna hedge it by saying “unless meron nga, pakisabi nalang” HAHAHAHA kasi our relationship talaga is more “X” that way.

“X” kasi at the moment wala akong ma-isip na appropriate word HAHAHHA vocabulary words tend to show themselves saakin whenever alam nilang magagamit ko in the near future so let’s wait nalang.

Something I realized na I’ve never done sa relationship natin anoh was defend myself against you. HAHAHHAHA Like isn’t that such a tell tale sign of an X relationship? baka pala X factor yung itawag ko sa letter for november kasi idk what word to use HAHAHAHHA

or sige maybe wag X, too common as a variable pwede namang W? HAHAHA W relationship has meaning na by itself eh noh di ata pwede.

Anyway my point siguro ngayon with the tiktok is na we can’t say na we’re seeing brown kasi we’re not actively trying to look for brown in our relationship. We see orange.

When sinabi mong mag fart ka, I don’t think “ah may stinky smell”, I think “hey, magpoproduce yung wonderful baby ko ng scent and I accept it.”

Boom! niromanticize ang utot san ka pa HAHAHHA or maybe the more appropriate onomatopoeia to use is Toot!